مشاعرُ الثورة الجياشة: بوحُنا، شفاؤنا الجماعي، وانسلاخنا عن السلطة الأبوية

لميا مغنية

في اليوم الثالث من الثورة، لا أدري لماذا تذكّرت "الحزين" وأنا أشاهد تزايدَ الاحتجاجات، وتدفق كمية رهيبة من المشاعر والمقولات لم يلفظها أو يعبّر عنها أحد من قبل على الهواء. هكذا وجدت نفسي أتخيل "الحزين" في الشارع يصرخ بغضب، ويفرّغ علينا هو أيضاً كمّاً من قهره.

سُجّل أولُ ظهور لـ"الحزين" في منطقة بربور/برج أبو حيدر سنة 2013، في سلسلةٍ من الغرافيتي العاطفية طُليت على جدران المنطقة مثل"لا معنى للحياة أنا حزين". وعندما طُلب منه كتابة شعاراتٍ سياسية على الحيطان تلائم المنطقة، كتبَ على جدار في برج أبي حيدر باللون الاخضر "حركة أمل خط أحمر"،وأضاف إمضاءه عليها "الحزين". كنت أمرّ بجانب هذه الجملة يومياً، وأقرؤها كالتالي: "حركة أمل خط أحمر حزين".

كان "الحزين" أول من أشاحَ الستائر عن القهر في منطقتنا، وعن كآبة الخطوط الحمر.

منذ بداية الثورة تتشكّل عندنا كل أنواع المشاعر والانفعالات، بعضٌ منها نتشاركُها في العلن، تصهرنا وتحولنا إلى مجموعات ثورية؛ وبعضٌ آخر ذات غضب وألم حادّين قد يسلخنا عن أهلنا أو قادتنا، ويبعدنا عنهم. مشاعرٌ مشكّلة بالحزن والذلّ، الحب والغرام، كسرة الظهر وحرقة القلب، السعادة، الأمل و الغضب، الشوق والرقص، الذعر، الدهشة و الجوع، الهشاشة، القهر، البكاء، البكاء مثل الأطفال مع الشهقة، اغروقاق العينين، ذلك الألم الذي يراودنا عندما لا نستطيع أن نحرك يدَينا من شدة الكآبة، ذلك الشعور عندما نفقد القدرة تماماً على حماية من نحب.

أحياناً أستطيع أن أرى كل هذه المشاعر في "فيديو أموت وتسقط الدولة في الجديد".

والثورة هي أيضاً انبعاثات لمشاعر قديمة، مشاعر  لم نعترف بها لأحد: ما حصل لنا خلال الحرب الأهلية ولم نقله لأحد، من تحرّش بنا ولم نتحدث عنه لأحد، مشاعر قهر وحزن خلفهما لنا نظامٌ أبوي عنيف، من أهلٍ وأساتذة وأحباب وأطباء و محاكم ومؤسسات، ولم نقلها لأحد، ما حصل لنا مع الـexولم نقله لأحد، مشاعر تراكمت واختلطت ببعضها البعض، انفجرت اليوم في الشارع وربطتتنا معاً عبر اختلافنا.

راقبتُ في الأسبوع الأول من الثورة كيف تحوّلت "الأنا" إلى "نحن" في عمليات البوح المتكررة مباشرة على الهواء.

نمرّ اليوم بعلاجٍ نفسي جماعي، في مساحاتٍ وعبر علاقات عاطفية - مشاعرية جديدة أتاحتها لنا الثورة، مساحات لم نكن نتخيل يوماً أن نحصل عليها بهذه الطريقة. إنها حقاً نهاية الحرب الاهلية، ليس فقط من الناحية الطائفية بل من الناحية النفسية -الذاتية. هو علاجٌ نفسي سياسي يدعونا إلى التحرّر من الآخر (الطائفي، الغريب غير اللبناني و التحرر من الجرّة أيضاً، من كل شيء) وإلى إعادة إعمار علاقاتنا الاجتماعية السياسية وعلاقاتنا مع الآخرِ بطريقة مختلفة، وبناء جسور جديدة. هذا هو الشفاء النفسي المجتمعي الحقيقي من التروما (أو الصدمة النفسية) في بلادِ ما بعد الحرب الاهلية، وهو ليس شفاءً يستطيعُ الأطباء والاختصاصيون النفسيون أن يحققوه لنا.

ثورتُنا ثورة مشاعر. ومن يخاف من الانفعالات والمشاعر ويدعو إلى العقلانية يعلم تماماً مدى القوّة السياسية لهذه المشاعر. لطالما بُنيت "السياسة" في لبنان، كما نقدها وصنعها وتنظيمها وكيفية التكلم عنها والتنبؤ بها، على أدبيات ذكورية عقلانية، بما معناه أنّ التكلم بالسياسة وصنعَها يجب أن يقوم على 1) العديد من التوازنات الطائفية والأبوية، و2) أنّ تحكيمَ العقلانية يكمن في غضِّ النظر عن الفساد والرشاوى والعنف الذكوري، أو معالجة كل ذلك بطريقة هامشية، في سبيل الإبقاء على هذه التوازنات. كل القراءات والممارسات وأشكال النقد التي لا تشبه هذه الأدبيات كانت تعدّ "ساذجة".

وكم منا سخرَ منها أهلها وأصحابها وقيل عنها أنها "ساذجةٌ بالسياسة" لأنها "عاطفية"، "ما بتعرف تحكي بالسياسة"؟ تطيح هذه الثورة بثنائية العقلانية/السذاجة والعواطف، أو بالأحرى تغلب سذاجتنا وعواطفنا على العقلانية اللبنانية.

نمرّ اليوم إذاً بسيرورة علاجٍ نفسي جماعي طويلة. وكما في كل العلاجات النفسية، عملية الشفاء تتضمن انسلاخاً موجعاً عن السلطة الأبوية الحاكمة المؤلفة من أهلنا وآبائنا وأحبابنا والـexes(الداديز على أنواعهم) وزعمائنا وقادِتنا، وكذلك أساتذتنا وأطبائنا ومدرائنا. هذا الانسلاخ موجع، وفي بعض الأحيان يفضح علاقتنا التطبيعية والحميمية مع النظام الأبوي وتورطنا معه وبه كنسويات ونساء. لا نخاف هذا الفضح الذي يصيب علاقاتنا كلها، فهو جزء من انسلاخنا وتحرّرنا من الأبوية. لا نخافه لكن نعي مدى الألم الذي قد يصيبنا من جرائه ومدى حاجة البعض منا إلى الأمان والدعم.

ليس من الضروري اليوم أن نكتب مقالاً نفسر به لمَ النسوية في قلب هذه الثورة. أذكر أني كتبت مقالاً مع ستيفاني غاسبيه عن هذا الموضوع في صوت النسوة سنة الاحتجاجات 2015، كان عنوانه "شو جاب النسوية للموضوع؟ هل هناك حاجة للنسوية في الاحتجاجات الحالية في لبنان". لا داعي اليوم لأن نفسّر لماذا النظام الأبوي قاتل. من "طالعات" في فلسطين إلى السودان، غيّرت النسويات ويغيرنَ الخطابَ العام يومياً بأياديهنَ وعبر وجعهنّ. نحن هنا، في قلب الثورة، نتحرّر، نطالب، ونخوض علاجاً جماعياً نحو التغيير.

 

 

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